March 11, 1863
To My Esteemed Visitor,
I cannot refrain from using the spare moments of free time I have been granted to pen a few lines to you. I am certain that you are quite invested in my personal well-being, and I thank you, in advance for acknowledging my existence by reading this missive in its entirety.
To be quite honest, I wasn’t certain if I would actually be able to access the “world wide web” from the confines of the time machine I created with my bare hands, a refrigerator box and but a shaky knowledge of the space time continuum to guide me. Not only have I managed to go back and forward in time, I was surprised to learn that satellites existed before they were invented. Perhaps the future put them there? You tell me, friend, because I would like to know!
History is AMAZING! Have you heard about the dinosaurs? If you haven’t yet, you should look them up on Wikipedia. I’ve been lucky enough to see so many events in person! Fellow blogger, Perez Hilton might even call me a “spywitness.” He’s such a clever man and a snappy dresser, too. Being in history is just like watching fascinating programs about history on The History Channel, except you have an increased chance of coming down with a hideous bout of the plague when you are actually there.
I’ve been having so much fun here in the past that I have neglected to update my blog for several months hence. I had considered, for a moment, the possibility of going back in time from the future to do so, but I believe having some reason to feel guilty would be of great assist in the writing of my next play. It’s called Macbeth. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Moments like these bring such dissonance to my soul. I’ve withheld myself from you, dear reader, for so long. Believe me when I tell you, it has caused me much greater pain than you could ever understand. Maybe it approaches the pain you feel having been cast out of the sunlight, and by sunlight, I am referring to myself: Mr. William Shakespeare.
Upon my return to 2012, I will once again take up my post as a minor publicist for that small organic pet food and children’s book publishing company in which I find myself employed. For me, months have passed. To the co-workers who toil in the cubicles that surround me, it has been only a long weekend. I told them I was going to Reno
Well, that’s about it for now. It looks like I have to go assist in a battlefield amputation. I will update more regularly in the future.
With Warm Regards,
WS
4 comments:
I was wondering if you had the chance to catch a screening of a classic which has been spreading the magic of both your work and that of The Gwenyth: Shakespeare In Love?
My dear departed friend, Mrs. Palfrey, did not care much for it. I do miss her so. Have you seen her?
Dearest Matty,
I am with your dear Mrs Palfrey on this one. As I did not pen this so called movie with my own hand, it is likely not up to the level of brilliance I aspire too.
Have you seen a little play called "King Lear?" I wrote it and highly recommend it.
Yours Truly,
WS
Oh, Shakespeare, I saw a post on Wikipedia - perhaps you've heard of it? - that lists all of the plays you've written up to now (by which I mean the present day, in our present time). Either now or in a future time, will you write another play or maybe a sonnet? If so, what will be it's title?
Also, have you listened to Days of Future Passed by a group of minstrels called The Moody Blues? I highly recommend it to you.
You're here today
No future fears
This day will last
A thousand years
If you want it to
Hello Lovely Ing,
Yes, I am quite familiar with The Moody Blues. I saw them in a traveling show in a small village known as Kalamazoo, Michigan. It would have been at least ten years ago for you, but only last week for me. They were amazing.
Of course, I will, and have been writing plays for the modern era. Though my work at the press keeps me busy, I've been working on a little "teleplay" called LOST and was lucky enough to work on a popular program known as TWIN PEAKS several years ago. I've also tried my hand at several telenovellas.
Yes, I speak Spanish.
With Love,
WS
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